The Reality of Starting a Business in Harlow: My Journey as a Single Mother

I was asked to speak at a women's business networking event recently and to simply talk about my journey. Not one for sharing too much personal information, I was unsure whether to focus just on my work or to disclose my reality of launching a business in Harlow as a single parent. Including how I got there.

I jotted down a few notes to include and following the talk I was met with unexpected applause. The audience appreciated how honest I had been. It was then suggested I write a blog so my story could potentially be shared. So, here it is....

It's 2018, March 31st and we are experiencing the worst snow storm in a very long time. I am absolutely desperate to get into work because today is the day I'm handing in my notice.

I used to work for a large international financial services company Central London. I had returned from maternity leave just 6 months earlier and changed role to get away from a toxic work environment now I was having to operate on so little sleep and my commute had now tripled.

The switch from account management to recruitment was met with disbelief from my colleagues but ever the diplomat, I just explained my yearning for change.

That change however was a shock to the system. Big companies do not like to spend money on non-revenue-generating departments so HR and recruitment are usually chronically understaffed. The employees also do not look kindly upon the new mum who has to leave early to pick up a sick child from nursery or isn't keen to go on a business trip abroad in her second week back after maternity leave.

Nevertheless I did what I could with the severe lack of confidence I had after a year of "mumming".

I left on a high with my manager expressing regret that I didn't feel I could stay and without another job lined up I felt liberated and terrified. I spent about 2 weeks at home doing house admin like painting the fence and the shed and rearranging furniture until I decided to buy into a baby signing franchise. I passed my audition and was gearing up to launch in the Autumn of 2018 with grandiose plans to grow my offering term by term.

Our second child arrived in January 2019. Despite just getting things off the ground this job was flexible. It worked well around a young family and I remember saying to friends I don't know how I'd manage if I was a single parent...

And then my marriage broke down. I was left with a 2 year old and a 3 month old with no financial support. I stayed away from everyone for months, feeling shame and debilitating sorrow.

However, there was no time to wallow and failure was not an option now that I had to fully support my family alone. So, with a lot of help, support and free childcare from my mother I carried on delivering my fun and educational classes with a huge smile on my face. Little did the parents know what I was going through.

Then 2020 came along with so much hope on the horizon. My baby was a toddler and my eldest was at a nursery a few days a week. I was now claiming Universal Credit to keep my head above water while I awaited the sale of our property.

I found solo-parenthood excrutiatingly lonely. There was nowhere to go with young children on a budget. I'd visit the local soft play as early as possible with my toddler and baby on my own hoping it wouldn't be busy as it was the only place that was child-friendly but the only food on offer was high fat and high sugar. We went to a few classes but none of the venues had breakout spaces for socialising after class. The local stay and plays were cheap but they were dirty and over-crowded. I knew I needed to create The Parent Hood for the good of the community; it was a no-brainer so I just did not anticipate all the hurdles I would encountered. I felt I was being stifled by society's lack of support and infrastructure for women with children, especially solo parents.

Nevertheless I began my search for a commercial property but I just wasn't being taken seriously. The commercial estate agents - of which there seem to be just 3 companies that manage pretty much all commercial real estate in Harlow - would ignore my emails or not return my calls. I was actively put off certain properties that had been vacant for over a decade. I was priced out by extortionate town centre business rates. I had every single knock-back you can imagine - including a global pandemic!

I attempted crowd-funding as I was being quoted £70,000 on business rates on a particular town centre property that had been offered to me for only £20,000pa in rent.

The Just Giving page was not very successful and why would it be? No one knew me from Adam! I I raised about £300 however, news of my project reached some interesting people. One private donation of £1000 gave me an enormous boost and I will be eternally grateful for it. And another introduced me to the Harlow Quakers Meeting House which was currently lying empty...

I arranged to look at it in the Spring of 2022. The property manager and trustees seemed excited by my idea and I moved in that July under a temporary lease with the understanding that I would be signing a 5 year lease in due course.

Unfortunately, the person I dealt with at that time, moved on before the lease was completed and after spending not an insignificant amount of money refurbishing it I have now been told that they will guarantee no more than 2 years before they can serve me notice to move out. You live and you learn.

I had 2 amazing women-led businesses ready to launch as soon as we opened in September 2022 and I will be forever thankful for their belief and trust in me. We have become firm friends and I feel a great responsibility to keep the property open so their businesses can thrive.

My challenge now is to secure funding to be able to deliver free-courses to Harlow residents. So far I have been rejected for every single fund I have applied to as I am not a bid writer and I am not good at using all the right buzz words. One such group will be a 6 week postnatal course for new parents offering essential skills and coping mechanisms beyond bathing and nappy changing.

Next is purchasing the building to save it from being sold to developers and to grow the business further to include wellbeing and nutrition on site.

In the long-term I would like to expand The Parent Hood beyond Harlow with venues popping up all over the country providing the safe, clean and welcoming space that I craved as a single mother of 2 early years children.

I am proud of what I have achieved professionally. I have created a space that Harlow was crying out for. Personally though I am not on top of things. My house is an absolute mess. I have piles of washing that needs to be put away, my lawn needs cutting and dust is accumulating. Where I am succeeding in one area, I am inevitably failing in another.

So, I guess what I want to convey is that running a business takes over your life especially as the only person running everything and as a single parent you cannot do it all. Outsourcing what you can is the only way to give yourself a mental break. I'm still learning to let things go but I'm getting there.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!